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  • [卡通冰球图片] [手机访问]

    什么样的冰刀稳定:卡通冰球图片

    当前位置: 卡通冰球图片 > 美文欣赏 > 

    最舒服的关系,是不必讨好

    时间:2019-02-02 17:47来源:网络整理 作者: 佚名

    卡通冰球图片 www.789vx.com   最舒服的关系,是谁也不必讨好谁,彼此都是独立而自由的,若是合适就在一起,若是聊不来也没关系。

      宁可孤独,也不违心,宁可抱憾,也不将就。能入我心者,我待之以至宝。不入我心者,不屑敷衍。

      - 01 -

      这个世界上,有一种人,活得最累。

      她们习惯于隐藏自己真实的情绪,总是保持克制和礼貌,害怕与对方发生冲突,面对对方的要求不敢轻易拒绝;

      她们很照顾别人的心情和看法,只要别人语气稍微冷淡一点,就会想着自己是不是哪里惹得对方不高兴;

      她们总是过分谦卑,又很容易被别人打动,对方给她一分的好,就暗暗记在心里,恨不得能回报人家十分;

      即使面对一个人难以应付的麻烦事,能靠自己解决就自己解决,生怕给对方添了什么麻烦。

      这个世界上,总是越敏感越懂事的人,活得越累。

      习惯于迎合对方的期待,习惯于让气氛和谐,即便是以牺牲自己的感受为代价。

      好像和谁都能相处融洽,受了冒犯也不会轻易发难,即便要退让自己的原则和底线。

      就像席慕蓉写的:

      “在一回首间,才忽然发现,原来,我一生的种种努力,不过只为了要使周遭的人都对我满意而已。

      为了要博得他人的称许与微笑,我战战兢兢地将自己套入所有的模式,所有的桎梏。走到中途,才忽然发现,我只剩下一副模糊的面目,和一条不能回头的路。”

      渐渐活成别人喜欢的样子,却也渐渐地掩盖了真实的自己。

      看似人缘极好,看似关系稳定,背后的疲惫只有自己知道。

      - 02 -

      清华才女蒋方舟在上节目《奇葩大会》的时候,也曾经自曝自己“因为太希望别人喜欢自己了,而活成了一个谄媚的人。”

      这让她在前二十年的人生里,遗憾地失去了与身边人产生真实关系的机会。

      人与人之间的真实关系是什么?

      是你可以和这个人去争吵,可以把自己最真实、最不堪的一面暴露给这个人,而不用苦心去扮演一个讨人喜欢的角色,不用时时担心对方会不会产生不快或是反感。

      可以自由地表达自我,而不必刻意地压抑自己、迎合对方,这样的关系才具有实质性的意义。

      因为所有靠讨好吸引而来的人,很可能不是真正能欣赏你的人;那些掺杂着太多取悦的感情,也绝非健康的模式,只是人为创造了一个美好的幻影,但总有一天是要破灭的。

      就像涂磊说的:“踮起脚尖爱一个人,是很不现实的。”

      到了一定年纪你就会发现,越是需要费力维持的感情,越是脆弱。

      真正能和你长久相处的人,永远欣赏的是你自由而独立的样子,而不是你故作谦卑和讨好的样子。

      - 03 -

      人与人之间最舒服的关系,是不必讨好。

      你做你自己,我做我自己,不需要谁刻意去迎合谁。

      待在一起,只是因为三观相近,兴趣相合,谈得拢,聊得来,感觉舒服所以一切水到渠成,如是而已。

      作家詹迪·尼尔森说过,最适合的伴侣,就好像走进一座你曾经住过的房子里——你认识那些家具,认识墙上的画,架上的书,抽屉里的东西:如果在这个房子里你陷入黑暗,你也仍然能够自如地四处行走。

      彼此坦诚,又彼此熟悉,没有那么压抑和猜疑,疲累和伪装。

      一段好的关系,一定是如此。

      也许因此会失去一些人、一些关系,但那些接纳了真实的你,依然选择留在你身边的人,才是你生命中值得珍惜的存在。

    Tags: 舒服 关系

    本文网址://www.789vx.com/meiwen/154918.html (手机阅读)

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